Skip to content Skip to main navigation Skip to sub navigation Skip to Accessibility Page
Main navigation:
Breadcrumb navigation:
Sub navigation:

In this section

Portfolio - Candidate B

The candidate was awarded 18 marks.

Content

The candidate has chosen a title which does outline the focus of the analysis but which could have been much more straightforward. By choosing to focus on how the father’s personality is portrayed through other characters the candidate has over-complicated any potential analysis. The sources chosen are appropriate and the candidate shows some features of an analytical approach, attempting to present arguments and analysis. Unfortunately, this does not always relate directly to the focus of the analysis as stated in the title, with much of the essay describing the character of the father without direct reference to other characters.

Style

The candidate presents evidence from sources and includes quotations which are largely accurate. The register is mostly appropriate with occasional lapses – a smart use of metaphor, becoming ballistic, as a reader I can see - and the candidate does use some critical terminology – this clearly highlights, flashback…extremely effective, use of metaphor, the author successfully shows, this implies etc., but poor English expression and punctuation does detract from the overall impression – an obvious disapproval the woman, highly positioned character, he will not abide matters he does not support, going beyond his anger, flies to a rage, the old generation perception etc.

Organisation

The candidate does write with some sense of structure and has organised the work into a series of paragraphs. Unfortunately, these do not always link together well and do not always relate directly to the focus of the analysis but instead recount a series of episodes within the novel. The writing is largely coherent although there are instances of lack of clarity and the main focus of the analysis (use of other characters to portray the personality of the father) is not fully explored. Indeed the conclusion makes little reference to this main focus, concentrating instead on the author’s use of various techniques to convey the relationship between the father and his children.